how can u be prego again
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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