He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
