is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
the gays at disneyland are vicious
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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