Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
