my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
