I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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