your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
