I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize