why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
