Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
