is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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