whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just had sex on a roof
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize