This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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