Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
