they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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