He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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