you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize