Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
