Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize