Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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