they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
