i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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