how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
