Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
