I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
