I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
