At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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