Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
