You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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