I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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