The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
