a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
