Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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