WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
