Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
