He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
