I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
