There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
