walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
