i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
