Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
