Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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