I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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