ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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