I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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