Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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