Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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