I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
