ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
