it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Your cock deserves a montage
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
