I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
