Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
