Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
