I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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