Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
