hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
