I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
