what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
