My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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