three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
