watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
